We were just doing our individual presentation on our hobby today. Well, we kinda all went unprepared and just went up to smoke through. Some managed, some didn’t. But well, it was a fun time! Seeing and knowing interesting hobbies. Don’t ask what I presented, no need to guess also! Not blogging la, of course it’s TWEETING la! Anyway I’m just gonna copy what I wrote on facebook here!

This is interesting! Read it somewhere.. “Over the past 15 years Dr Robi was a celebrity snowboard instructor to the rich and famous of Europe (including Prince Charles and Harry of Wales)”. Woah! He’s a snowboard instructor? I realised many people have double or triple identities.

Haha, including my marketing tutor. Today she revealed that besides being a tutor/lecturer to us, she’s a gemologist and she studies gems, crystals, diamonds etc. You know how one goes into the jewellery shop and immediately takes out her “magnifying glass and torch light”. That’s her! LOL.

One interesting fact: The carbon you have in pencil lead and the carbon you have in diamonds are the same carbon, just different qualities.

My tutor told us and all of our jaws dropped. We were like what?!! Paying thousands just for carbon. Pencil lead is like a few cents. But that’s the interesting part about gemology! You get to know and understand all these chemistry. Sound so interesting, makes me wanna be a gemologist. But like what my tutor said, it’s a very expensive hobby! And she kinda went into that because her family were goldsmiths, trading gold, crystals, diamonds and gems. Secondly, she didn’t want to get cheated when she buy jewelleries. Well, that is a lame excuse thou.

But really, it’s interesting enough. She somehow gonna make it to my inspiration list sometime soon, I feel. Gemma is already up there. Gemma is my law tutor, very nice lady, sometimes angst, but she’s a cool girl. I’m still very amazed with her, mother of 2, a lawyer and a tutor/lecturer, doing her 4th degree. Crazy life! But again if life is not adventurous enough, why live? Meeting strong career women in my course of studies. Should be a good thing. At least now I’m motivated and encouraged to be one too. And that my ambition since young hasn’t gone missing yet.

Boy, I can’t take it. Annoying and irritating eye. Bye!

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But who is the real friend who will stand by you when things happen, when you fall sick, when you needed someone. Those are the true and best friends one can ever have. I’m glad that I’ve a few and am counting. Counting them one by one like they are blessings that fall from the sky.

Time to say goodnight.
Xoxo

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When you get to this age, you kinda realise that everything around you starts to change. As much as you age, everyone around you age together with you. Your parents, your siblings, your loved ones, even your friends. It is not long ago that I suddenly realise that many of my friends are either getting married or giving birth. It’s that crossroad that I’m at now. That stage in my life that can transform depending on what decision you make at the junction. If you make right decisions, then your life would end up right.

Not just that I start to realise that if I want to do anything, I need to take others into consideration. It’s not just me alone in this, and it’s never me. When I was young, I failed to see and recognise the factors that might be influenced or affected by certain decisions I made. But now that I’m older, everything just seems clearer. I start to get a clearer vision of how my perspective used to be and how it changes over time, over the years.

And even if at times now, I want to explain to the people around me about this perspective or this revelation that I’ve received in the past years, I’m not able to. It’s not that I’m lousy at explaining, but it’s just that they are not at my level. As much as I’m constantly growing up to arrive at my parents’ level. These people are constantly growing to arrive at my level. Until that day, they will never understand what I intended to bring across to them years ago. Well, it’s just all about how you live life and when you wake up from that fun and wild childhood. Everyone has their own, but people wake up at different timings. Bet I belong to the earlier group.

I woke up when I was 15.

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I know I will mount up like eagles the next day. But just let me rest and sleep in for now.

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Not trying to be nasty or what, I just really feel so. What is the world becoming? And I don’t foresee good things coming. Not negative but just feeling that people are becoming really self-centred sometimes. Just kinda spoil my impression of them.

I should really skip this topic.

Back to school, it was two tests this week in a row. And one more up next saturday. Back to school on saturday feels crappy. Don’t feel like going to school on saturday, it’s my rest day man. But there’s no choice, am having a test. Hope that it will go on well.

Oh yes, did I mention that a lot of my friends are getting married these few years? I don’t know, it’s like the trend from 2012 onwards or something. This made me realise that I’m really getting older. A nice saying is that I’m 21, a not-so-nice saying is that I’m old already. Haha, still not too old I believe, but man.. When you have all your friends getting attached, hooked up, married and what’s worse? Giving birth. You kinda pressure yourself and get all the stress on your tiny brain because you are approaching that age soon and you’re just really aimless and all, as you have not started working yet. Seriously, ask me if I’m stressed. Yep more or less, a little.

How could you not be? You’ll definitely be affected somehow. Anyway I shall just skip that thought first. School has been alright, catching up with work and all. Assignments have always been there, from the very beginning of the semester. But somehow they just seem more when the deadlines are nearer. I can never think of it. Last semester I did IRHR essay like 2 weeks before and handed up 1 week before the deadline. This semester was kinda bad. First 5 weeks were slack. I didn’t even do my tutorial until the actual day’s lecture. Really don’t know, think that the procrastination is coming again. This Fri is the deadline for Marketing Essay. I did it from last week as it was 1500 words. But it’s like couldn’t concentrate all the way till 3 days ago. And now it’s about done.

No idea how the essay would be deem, but I really love the introduction. I spent 2 hours or one whole night writing that 100 words. It’s really like a perfect masterpiece to me. I felt that introduction is really important. If you start writing crap, who wants to continue reading? That’s my stand for a good introduction. The rest of my essay weren’t too in-depth. I tried my best to be, but well, the word limit is too little. Exploded that 1500 words by another 50. Actually I crossed it by 200, I cut away 150 words unbearably. It’s already so short and if I cut more out of my essay, I would feel that it becomes a really useless one, because it just touches on the theory which is the definition and don’t explain/elaborate the points. Just not a perfect one.

I love to write essays since I’m young. I really like English, because you can really create your own words and play around with it in speech or writing. It’s really kinda fun. But well, I’m not excellent in English or at least vocabulary. I’m not that good, but I make use of thesaurus and all to help me. It made my essays more interesting. That is also why I love to blog and tweet. I just love to write! Then you would wonder why am I not a Bcomm student. It’s really because I’m not that good in it, I mean I can do well for it and I can speak or write well. But I just feel that my vocabulary is still not that wide. Well, I wish that I’m a Bcomm student but it’s just not me. Still proud to be a Bbus student, haha.

Going on, many things have happened over the past I don’t know how long. And it should be a common thing that everyone faces. Problems. Like who doesn’t have it. Just that you must know how to solve it and all. So far it has still been kinda well taken care of, but I’m still hoping that I’ll manage it even better before it weighs down on me.

It should be done for me now. I’m lost for words out of a sudden. Just pray that everything in my life will go well according to His plans. That is the most important thing for me, at least for now.

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People would always ask “a penny for your thoughts”. Well, I do have a few going around on my mind right now. Things that I don’t understand, things that I’ve seen, heard, that I don’t believe would happen happened. Much serious considerations? I don’t know how and why people make certain decisions but well, I believe if they’ve decided on it, they should then be responsible for its consequences until the whole course is over.

For a certain matter, I don’t understand how one would think that they would lose a friend but actually their friend has always been there, just standing by, looking to see if they do fall or stumble, so that he/she can then pick up the first person. It is indeed selfish to not look at this good point and focus on the bad, thinking that people don’t love you and being critical and skeptical about everything on earth. My thoughts are that we should learn how to treasure and cherish whatever that was or were given to us. Some gifts or opportunities doesn’t knock twice. Either you pick it up the first attempt or it’ll be gone. Instead of being all negative thinking bad about your friend, why not look at the bright side? I mean, years of friendship shouldn’t be forgone just like this. As much as your friend tries to be nice to you, you reject her and find her being closer with another and then tries to get her back. Well, I’m indeed confused with the mind of humans. How can we even be so difficult and complicated?

If he/she is truly your best friend, then they will understand your preferences, what you like and not. They will take into consideration, for instance when they are out to dine, they won’t choose a cuisine that you don’t eat and have you staring at them gobbling their food the whole night. Come on. Be real! What is so hard about communication? Tell me, seriously.

Yes, I’ve banged the walls a few times, get knocked down by miscommunication or get slayed by misunderstandings. It is common. If you don’t even meet with any of these problems, then you are not being real. You are being fake as a person in your character. Because everyone is created uniquely, we have our own likings and personalities, we have differences and there bound to be cracks or scratches when two distinct persons come together. This is not science, it’s not theory. It’s only human!

I feel so wronged when I’m deemed with the possibility that I will do something that my best friend doesn’t like to him/her. It has been years. Do I not understand you? No. Am I your best friend? Yes. Wasn’t I the one who used to be there for you when you are down in the past? Yes I was. So tell me, why do you even think that I will do something that you don’t like to you? I just don’t get it. And if you are afraid, then kill the fear, just be straight, tell me that you are afraid that I would ask certain stuffs and just be truthful. If I get angst and pissed over it, then I’m wrong. And I know I won’t. Because I respect you. Have always been the case.

But you made me feel so ignorant and distant. I know you have your commitments, I know I have mine. I know we are all working very hard to the very first visions that we have in our own lives, our goals to be successful in our due course of our individual lives. But still, I cannot accept the fact that you just assumed that I will force you to do things that you don’t like and instead go to someone else and tell him/her that you wouldn’t want to talk to me so much because you are afraid that I would just touch on that very topic.

Well, to you it might just be a comment or a feeling. To me, I felt unjustified. Commenting that behind my back is really not cool. You might think that now I’m getting all angst, well I could be even more but I choose not to. I keep telling myself that you are still my dearest friend and I can’t afford to lose you. I don’t know if it’s the same on the other end. But at this moment, I’m really not feeling it. Your change in character to becoming more and more sensitive, critical and skeptical is scaring me. I don’t know if I’m still considered your closest friend in your heart. I hate to be unsure but I am. I can’t lie to myself. I agree we all change from time to time in our lives as we go through different stages. But your change is scaring me. I haven’t been seeing you for a long time. I’m afraid of losing you, my dear friend. But what can I do? I won’t be the one that you’ll marry obviously, and if we are not reconciling and doing anything to improve our friendship. Let me tell you, we would be even more distant just before you know it.

My only solution is to hope for longer and more heartfelt replies when I text you. If you ever feel that I am bothering you, just let me know, I am sorry and I will never bother you again. Even if it breaks my heart not to text you or never to see you again, I would do it. You would ask me how can I ever do that, forget about you and move on with life? You are right. I can’t do it, I really can’t. The only motivation will only be your happiness. If you live happily after we cut off, that’s when I will do it and feel worthwhile. You would now think that I’m being very fierce and clear-cut and that I can give you up for anything. But you are wrong. On the reverse side, I know I can’t give you up as my friend and so I’m trying to draw back as much so that it won’t hurt so much, in case we really need to bid goodbye. Please never let me get to that stage. It would be a heart attack for me. I promise that will be my last resort ever, or never. And I always pray that it will never happen.

Because you’ve been an important part of my growing up years. We might not be as close as we are now as before, we both have families to take care of, to look after, goals to run for, to achieve. But I really hope that the child-like and innocent you would return. I hope that you will stop being so critical and complacent. I can say this to you so straightforward without going round the bends because I know I have many years of friendship with you and it is strong enough to sustain and the bridge will not fall. If you get angry over this, then over the past years, I’ve failed as a friend. I have not build up a real, strong and proper friendship with you. And if you ever get offended by that sentence, it means that our friendship is not as strong as before and that I will want to apologise for all the past years of negligence and I really hope that we can work our way back into being buddies. I really miss you. Please help me realise that you are back. No one can ever affect our friendship and no one can ever take away the old memories that we had together which were so vivid.

Lord, please strengthen this friendship once again. I pray for forgiveness to come into me, into the other person that we will just get together back again, connected as friends and we will just forget about all these bad changes that had come. Let us focus on less of ourselves but think of one another more. Yes we are older, yes we have our own dreams, we have our own thinking, but God, help us not to forget this little treasures that you’ve blessed us with. The ones we grew up with. The ones we used to love and cherish. The ones we used to spend hours daily with. Lord, never erase our memories. Only refine our attitudes, rebuild our character. Lord, help us to love one another unconditionally just like how our mutual relationship with You is. We pray for clear understanding and love to grow in our hearts always. Come and help us sharpen our sight to celebrate, enjoy and live the lives with the ones that You have prepared for us, to be with us.

In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Thank you Lord.

I feel so much better after talking about it. You might not even read this post. And I’m really okay with it, because I know that I’ve dealt with myself, my own attitude. I will not be bitter or angst but I will bless and try to work this friendship out with some actions. I hope you’ll feel the same way when you see the actions done.

God is a good God.
Never period, but always.

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But there’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you’d say, they were never true, never true
And the games you’d play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried
‘Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

When laying with you I could stay there
Close my eyes, feel you here forever
You and me together, nothing is better

‘Cause there’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you’d say, they were never true, never true
And the games you’s play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Adele Set Fire To The Rain lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/adele-set-fire-to-the-rain-lyrics.html

Well, it burned while I cried

‘Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
‘Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time

Sometimes I wake up by the door
That heart you caught must be waiting for you
Even now when we’re already over
I can’t help myself from looking for you

I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touch your face
Well, it burned while I cried
‘Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
‘Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh

Oh, no
Let it burn, oh
Let it burn
Let it burn

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me, it isn’t over

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don’t forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised in a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/adele-lyrics/someone-like-you-lyrics.html .]
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me, it isn’t over yet

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don’t forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah

Nothing compares, no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes, they’re memories made
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don’t forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don’t forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead